Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
