But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
