Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Randomize
