If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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