On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
