I heard we made out
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Tell her she can't have a vagina
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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