Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
i think my cat just said my name.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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