There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
