Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
