My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
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