My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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