well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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