we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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