this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
this is an emotional support booty call
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
