I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
