sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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