I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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