TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
