Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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