Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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