i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
