ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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