Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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