We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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