I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
