Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
