i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
