We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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