last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
