In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
