The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
they're like a gay fantastic four
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
