have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
