Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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