How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Did we literally take a cab across the street
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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