So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
