Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
