Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Vodka?
Forever.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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