That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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