You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
