My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
