Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
