i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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