I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
