maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
