I just saw a hot homeless man
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
