Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I will pee on everything he values.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
