he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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