someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
