No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
