you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
